Thursday, March 3, 2016

Storytelling for Week 7: In Search for Love


One dark and gloomy day there was a very particular beautiful cat named Gon, who was pondering his existence. He lived with his young master whom he loved most dearly. His master was a musician and Gon liked to spend his days listening to him play. Their house was very nice and cozy, and it was right in the middle of a very small town in Japan. Their house was not particularly big, but it was in no means small. Got and his master lived very comfortably. Gon had a very good life. He was given treats whenever he pleased, he had a roasting fire to lay by, birds to chase, constant attention and petting from his master, and most importantly a roof over his head to sleep. In fact, Gon was treated like an absolute king by his master. However, he was never truly happy because it always seemed like something was missing from his life. He tried desperately to make himself happy, but he could not figure out exactly what was missing from his life until that gloomy day at home.

As Gon sat inside his nice house, he curled up near the window and watched the outside. He sat there for hours upon hours seeing people come and go all day. He did this most days so it was not a special occasion. Then it happened.

He watched as a man sat upon a bench and Gon saw his look at the town and watch the people, just like he was doing from behind the window. The man looked content but not necessarily happy. Then, a young woman approached the man and sat down next to him. She looked at him kindly before grabbing his hand and giving him a kiss. This young woman completely changed the man's emotions because now he was filled with joy and smiling ear to ear. It was clear to Gon that this man and woman were in love.

It was that very moment that Gon realized what was missing in his life. He wanted another cat to love, and he was sure that would make him happy. Now he just needed to figure out how to make this a reality. He meowed by the back door day in and day out for over a week in hope that his master would let him outside to explore the town. Gon knew there was no way he would meet a pretty cat just lying around the house.

A few days later he got his chance! His master had walked out the front door to pick up his mail. He did it the same way he did every single day. However, this specific day he accidentally left the door a little cracked open. Gon was ecstatic and pushed through the door with his nose. He trotted around the perimeter of the house and it wasn’t long before he saw her. Standing a little way down in front of the neighbor’s house was the most beautiful cat he had ever seen. She had white fur that looked like silk. She looked like an angel, and to his surprise she was staring at him too, with a twinkle in her eye. It was fate. He ran towards her and it was love at first meow. He had found Koma, and the rest was history.

Author's Note: This story is based on a story from that I read in the Japanese Fairy Tales, called The Cat's Elopement. The original story was very interesting and enjoyable to read. It is about two cats Gon and Koma. A handsome cat named Gon, belonging to a music teacher, and a lovely cat named Koma, belonging to a lady, met and fell in love. Neither of their owners would sell one of them to the other owner, and they finally decided to elope. In the evening, they were threatened by a dog; Koma fled up a tree, while Gon stood his ground to protect her; a servant came by and carried off Gon to his mistress, the princess. A snake had fallen in love with this princess, and annoyed her with its visits. One day, when it came to annoy her once again, Gon pounced on it and killed it. After, he saw a large cat harassing a smaller one. He went to rescue the small cat and found it was Koma. He brought her to the princess and told her their story. She wept with sympathy and kept them with her; when she married a prince, she told him their story, and the prince agreed to keep them always, so they lived happily, with their many kittens playing with the prince and princess's many children. I decided to write this story to explain how he met Koma and why he needed her in his life. I decided I wanted to make the need for love and affection in Gon’s life a little greater. I did not feel the need to tell the rest of the story because the original did such a good job of that in the first place. It was very hard to make an already great story any better. I though instead of changing a big part in the story, that instead I would just write a great amount of detail to the beginning of the story.

Bibliography: This story is part of the Japanese Fairy Tales unit. Story source: The Pink Fairy Book by Andrew Lang and illustrated by H. J. Ford (1897). It is from the story The Cat's Elopement.

9 comments:

  1. Great story! I liked your detailed writing, like when you started out the story with "dark and gloomy day" I think it gives the reader a much better idea of what is going on and gives the reader a visual. I think you also did a good job of putting a lot of emotion in there, since the story is about love and break up. One suggestion I would have is making the author's note a little longer and detailed and maybe put it at the beginning so that the reader knows what they are about to read. Good job!

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  2. Hey, Kristine. Great job at writing a story! This is definitely not a rewriting but more of a creation! You created a whole new story based on the original story! Wow. I think that was a great story. I think this was a great idea of writing a story. I have never thought I would write a story behind the original stories. I think that is really creative. It is certain that I sometimes, wonder what could have happened before everything happened, but I have never thought about writing about what happened before the original story that I read for assignment. I think this was a great way. You did a great job at description of Gon and Koma. Without real images, I could totally imagine those two cats in my head. Great story and interesting story. Also, I could totally see my cat running out of the house when I leave the door open. That is totally realistic part of your story!

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  3. Hi Kristine! I chose your portfolio as my free choice for this week! I picked your portfolio because I liked the title of your story. Your way of writing the story was amazing. You had all the details we need to know to make us imagine the whole scene. I think your story was needed as an introduction to the original story so we can know how Gon met Koma. And why he needed her in his life. Missing the love made Gon sad cat. I liked how you made Gon find out what he was missing. Missing love is very bad feeling where everyone feels like he is missing something in his life but he does not know what that thing is. I am glad that Gon found his love very quickly after he ran out of the house. I hope your semester going good. Great job, and I‘ll be back to read more of your stories!

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  4. Hey Kristine! I read this story back in week 7 earlier and loved it! I love how close you kept your story to the original version. It is simple, organized, well-explained, and easy to understand! I really liked the flow of your story! I just wanted to keep reading and reading because it felt so natural. Also, I liked how you ended your story with the line, “He had found Koma, and the rest was history” because it allows readers who haven't read the original story to infer that Gon and Koma were happily in love for the rest of their lives! Also the picture you posted in your story of Gon is adorable! Maybe you could add a picture of a white cat, representing Koma, to give readers another image to base Koma off of! I am so happy he still found love with Koma! Great job! Keep up the good work!

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  5. I think you did a great job telling your story. You had a better focus on finding love then from the original story. It could also be seen as what happen before the two cats met. Of how people as well as animals need to find someone else in their life to feel whole. It was a cute story!

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  6. Kristine, I loved your story! I loved how you used animals to show a picture of love (that was very clever!) I also loved how the cat learned what love was from humans. One thing I would suggest is spacing out your paragraphs a little more. I have noticed stories with smaller, shorter paragraphs tend to keep readers attentions more. If you broke your larger paragraphs into smaller ones then you would grab the reader’s attention even better! I loved how you said “love at first meow” at the end. I thought that this was a very cute and funny addition to the story. What if at the end you put a little side note saying what happened to the two cats? Maybe you could explain they fell in love and had little baby kittens or went on a honeymoon to the nearest yarn store? These could be some funny additions for the future. Overall, Great job! Keep up the great work!

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  7. Kristine--I really liked both this story and The Ant and the Dove! I really liked The Ant and the Dove because the ant decided to trust someone he should have been hating all this time. I also liked that story because at the end they decided to become friends and go against their societal norms.
    I also really liked this story because it is about cats! I really like cats so this story immediately caught my attention. I'm so glad that Gon was able to find another cat! I'm so glad that his master let him out of his home.
    Overall, great job on both stories and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!
    I also wanted to comment on the layout of your Portfolio. I think that the background image and the color behind the font really complement each other nicely. I also like how you chose to go with black font--I thought that was smart so it would stand out so well!

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  8. This was a great story Kristine! I like how you choose to add to the beginning of the story instead of changing anything. I did this for the end of one of the stories I read, I elaborated on the ending because I thought the beginning was so good but the ending was too short. The story of a lonely house cat falling in love with the neighbor’s cat is a very cute concept. I also like that you had the cat figure out what he was missing by seeing two people sitting on a bench who were so clearly in love and how their whole attitudes changed around each other. I thought it was really cute! Your author’s note did a good job of explaining the original story and telling us why you chose to write this one. You had a lot of great details in this story that created such a clear picture.

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  9. Awesome story, Kristine! It's always interesting to go into detail on a certain part of a story, and you've certainly done a good job here--I liked the voice for this story, and all of the details that you put in about Gon's life before he met Koma. I think it actually can be really powerful when you first see a couple in love--it can definitely lead you to want what they have, and inspire you to go out and get it! The only thing I wonder if you could elaborate on here is Koma herself--you describe her appearance really well and a little tiny bit of her personality, but maybe you could describe more of the personality-oriented reasons why Gon loves her at first sight? Just a thought...anyway, great job, and good luck as you finish up the rest of the semester!

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